I Promised
by Laela Wendel
Summary: Edward's point of view and how he and his family deals with Bella's change into a vampire. How will our Edward manage with his beloved Bella as a ravenous newborn vampire?
1. Death

_**Hey guys. This story doesn't really have a plot. Its mostly my view on how the Cullen family would deal with Bella's change to vampire. I hope you enjoy.**_

_**This chapter will fit well with the song: Mad World from the Donnie Darko soundtrack.**_

Her fingers were hard and almost painful as she gripped my skull with all the strength her little body possessed. She wasn't too strong, being Bella and being human, but it is the thought that counts. The fact that what she was going through made her use all her strength as her frail body spasmed.

If I had been in this position at any time other than right now, my control would have been lost and I would have been ravaging what was in front of my nose: Bella's bosom.

I had only been sitting on the bed, Carlisle and Esme across from me on the other side of Bella, when her arms shot out and grasped my head. She pulled her my face to her chest and proceded to pull at my head and hair. Carlisle and Esme gripped her wrists and wrestled her vice-grip off me. Once I wasn't sufficating (figure of speech) in Bella's wonderful chest, I pushed down on her torso, helping my parents keep her down.

I could hear Emmett laughing in my head.

Alice appeared next to me and started to wrap one of Bella's wrists in the leather strap that had one side covered in soft cushion. I realized the irony as Alice bound Bella in insane asylum straps. Above the grunts of pain that came from dear Bella below me, I asked "Where did you get those leather bonds?"

Alice smiled at me gently.

"Our friendly, nieghborhood insane asylum."

The image of the front of the building came into view, along with the path taken to break in and steal the bonds. I grinned in appreciation at my sister and gently spoke to Bella, attempting to relax her with my voice. I only recieved tears in return. My dead heart broke a little.

With the final strap tightened, Esme and Carlisle released my new wife. Esme pressed her hand to my cheek and the pair left the room.

"Edward..."

I barely heard her words. They were only a brush of air on her chapped lips. Before I went to her side, I grabbed a tube of Vaseline on the side table, put there for the very reason I was doing now.

As I smeared the jelly onto her lips, her jaw clenched. If my finger was in the way, she probably would have broken her teeth.

After I put the jelly down, I immediately put my elbows on either side of Bella's ribcage and buried my face in her torn neck. If I could cry, I would be right now.

I tried so hard to be gentle. I was slow when I bit her. I was steady as I drank her precious life force, my control being tested as roughly as the straps that now hold her wrists and ankles. When Bella's hand swept my back, I felt a jolt in my control. And when she bent her head and gave my own neck an innocent kiss, I snapped.

I was out only for literally one second. I restrained the beast inside me and pulled back. That single moment had torn the skin on her neck as my mouth buried deeper. I let her down on the bed, out of my untrusting arms.

"Edward... I love you. Don't worry... about it...I...forgive you.." Her breath was sweet and slow. I immediately brought the cup from the side table to her mouth. She swollowed the water eagerly and I noticed her silence.

" Bella? Does it hurt?" Emmett's voice hit my ear. _Will she live? Carlisle and I were just about to pull you off until you came back. _I glanced at him, his face was strained at Bella's human blood out in the open. My appreciation for him was great. My entire family offered to help us take care of Bella. Rose didn't volunteer; she just came along, but her lack of rebelling made me feel wonderful.

Carlisle spoke first, as he inspected Bella's neck. "No big harm. Nothing is damaged too much. It won't scar. Bella, does it hurt?" He repeated Emmett's earlier question. She nodded her head once. Her eyes were frantically shifting to our faces, her little hands balled into fists.

Carlisle brushed Bella's hair out of the wound; hair that had fallen out of the tight braid Alice wove to keep her hair in one place. My father's words were gentle as he spoke. "It's okay to scream."

Carlisle's words warmed me a little. He said those same words when he changed me. I smiled.

His comment was met with a furious shake of Bella's head.

"No... " She looked at me. "I won't scream...for you."

That was when the convulsions started.

My hands now rested on Bella's ribs, on top of her shirt. I ran my tongue over her neck. The bleeding stopped for the most part but her rapid movements opened the wound again. I licked her again and I tasted my own venom. The blood there was not as appetizing as before with the venom laced in. I could bet if I bit her somewhere else, the blood would still taste human.

The venom would also spread quicker.

On that note, I sat up. I glanced down at her left inner elbow and slowly brought my face to it. I only bit her this time, not sucking any of her blood. Although, I still licked my lips as I pulled away. I leaned over her and bit the inner of her left elbow. Her moan proved the venom was spreading there too.

I looked around and noticed everyone was gone, leaving me alone with her.

Her lack of screaming had caused her to be more violent, which is why Alice went and got the leather bonds. I leaned back up, resting more of my body on hers to restrain her more. I kissed her cheek.

"I love you, Isabella Swan Cullen."

She opened her red swollen eyes and looked at me.

And then she was out cold. I frowned.

Emmett, who came back into the room, gave out a laugh.

"She loves you too, man. Don't fret."

I continued to stare at her face. Her eyes were leaking their last tears in eternity, and she was experiencing one of the last sleeps she'll ever have.

Emmett hovered behind me. "How can she _asleep_ through it?"

I brushed a stray hair from my beloved's forehead. "Bella was always a bit different."

I turned my head to look at him. "Where is everyone else?"

Emmett rubbed the back of his head and sighed. "Jasper couldn't handle it. He left the house with Alice to go hunt. He wanted me to tell you that he was sorry but the smell is too much." His eyes flashed to my hair and he grinned, bringing a hand to try to smooth it down. I smiled and glanced at the oval mirror on the other side of the room. My hair was standing straight up like static.

"Bells, I don't think Edward would appreciate it if you made him bald for eternity." Emmett said to Bella's unconscious form.

Emmett left once again. I pressed my face to Bella's collar bone and whispered. "Only two days, my love... two days..."

We brought Bella to Alaska, to a home we owned not too far from the other vegetarian family that lived here. The treaty with the wolves did not allow us to change her on Forks or La Push territory.

Bella had been bouncing in the car ride here, looking through windows and chattering. My family had only thoughts of happiness, enjoying her energy. Alice even perked up and they both were like chahuahuas on caffiene. It is supposed to take us about 50 hours to get there but it only took us about 26, with us going 110 mph. Rose's annoyed thoughts brushed my head but I ignored them. Everyone else was happy.

Except for me. As I watched little Bella's face flush with excitement as we passed a comical billboard, I felt my heart drop knowing that might be one of the last times I see it.

Alice let out a burst of laughter as Carlisle swerved the car a tad bit too sharply, and Bella was flung out of her seat; the vampires in the car hadn't moved a bit. Of course, I had noticed her seat belt was off so I immediately scolded her. But at the same time I was documenting that very moment of her humanity, her unawareness of her surroundings.

Proof that she was humen leaked out every second, literally. And as I watched her chatter with Alice, I hardened my heart.

I made a promise to the one I love, and that promise will not be broken.

Bella buckled her seatbelt with her right hand. Her platinum engagment ring glittered in the sun, the reflection hitting the ceiling of the SUV. Right next to it was her wedding band. Both rings had a band that looked like twisted lines, kind of like celtic knot-work. I closed my eyes and replayed the entire event of our wedding.

It was a fall wedding and it seems entire Forks was there. All of Bella's school friends and more where all there. Everyone. I found it ironic that though they were all there celebrating our union, they unknowingly celebrated Bella's condemntion to Hell.

Her dress was red and white. The corset top was entirely red and strapless. The bottom of the dress had a slight poof, but not obnoxiously so. Along the bottom seam, a red line went all around the dress.

Anyway, the dress didn't matter. What mattered was the woman inside. Charlie was in tears as her took her down the aisle, which set off Bella's tear ducts. I could hear Alice's distress that she would ruin the make-up but I could see my sister smiling.

It all went by in a blur and all happened too fast. Bella's mother was in love with me, her father partially approved of me, and Mike was so damn pissed. Ha, the day was perfect. But all good things end.

We went off on a two month "honeymoon." It is actually the time to try to change Bella and try to get her used to everything.

As we sat in the car, I was breathing in Bella's last of a human scent. I smiled to myself painfully. Bella wanted this. I would make her happy. Honestly, I would not rather die than change her. I just wanted to avoid it at all cost. Harden your heart, Edward.

I made a promise.

A week after I placed her wedding ring on her sweet finger, I sunk my teeth into her neck.

"Kill me..."

I stiffened. I did not want to ever hear her say it.

Esme immediately enveloped me in her arms and pulled me from Bella's side and throat. I felt a bit weak as my body shook in a short dry sob. Alice hugged me too and kissed my cheek.

"These aren't enough. For it to be quick, you have to bite her somewhere else too..."

I lifted my head from my mother's shoulder and looked up. Carlisle was inspecting the bites on her inner elbows.

"Where else?"

_On her chest, as close to her heart as possible. Do you want us to leave?_ His thoughts came into my head and I nodded, not wanting to expose my wife when she wasn't aware.

Esme kissed my forehead and walked out with Carlisle. Alice hugged me, gave Bella's cheek a kiss, and followed. After she closed the door, I sat on the bed, on her side.

She was writhing in pain, grunting and bucking herself off the mattress. I pulled myself onto her, sitting on her thighs. Her legs couldn't move much now, but she was still trying to buck me off her like a bull. I pressed a hand to her sternum and used my other hand to try to pull the collar of her shirt down. It barely stretched.

I inhaled deeply, knowing what I had to do

_You are her husband, she shouldn't fear exposure to you._ I thought to myself. With no further thought, I pulled her shirt up.

I flung myself to my knees.

She wasn't wearing a bra. I closed my eyes and breathed in again. Why was I always in these awkward moments with her?

Her desperate sob reached my ears and I realized I had be strong against this. I kept my eyes closed as I brought my face to her sternum.

Being so close to her heart made my control quiver. My mouth dripped with venom, literally dripping onto her skin, with anticipation of her blood. I opened my mouth and closed it above her left breast.

Her moan told me it did the trick. I pulled a bit of blood from her veins but managed to pull away. She bucked up in a new set of convulsions. I pulled her blue shirt down and watched as the blood seeped through.

The venom must have hit her heart for the first time; a jagged screech emitted from her mouth. I jerked my head back from her and jumped off her legs. Emmett and Carlisle burst through the door.

_You know she tried...she didn't scream for a long time... _Carlisle's thoughts comforted me. Above her screams, Emmett yelled. " Bite her ankles!"

My father and brother grabbed either of her legs, holding them stiff at the knees. As I sunk my teeth shallowly into both calves, Emmett let go. The pop to my jaw and cheek bone made me jump up.

_Sorry, man. I thought you were done. And DAMN she is visous... _I grinned and nodded and turned back to my beloved Bella, feeling my heart just crush at the sight of her. Her hands were straining against the leather straps, her hands balled into tiny fists. She was on her feet, her knees bent and the entire lower half of her body was off the bed. The only part of her that was touching the mattress was the bottom of her feet, shoulders, neck, and head.

Her incessant sobs felt like a unsharpened knife hacking through the air.

"Kill me..."

It was barely a whisper, but we all heard it.

_She doesn't mean it._ Alice appeared next to me.

_You know she loves you and wouldn't want that._ My mother placed her hand on my shoulder the moment she walked in. Her gentle aura and thoughts calmed me but the shadow of self-loathing hovered above me.

Alice hurried to Bella's side and pushed on her hips, throwing her back onto the mattress. The screaming only continued, if not increased in volume. I flung my hands to my ears, but the sound still persisted.

"Alice, just let her do what she wants. She'll just tire herself out."

Alice let her go and Bella flung herself up again, screaming incoharent words. One word was recognizable as English.

"Burning...burning...burning...burning..."

This time, I couldn't put the fire out.

It is night. It is 20 hours since I first bit my dear Bella. She is currently unconscious on the bed, having tired herself out. She would be up in two hours at the most. I am sitting on the floor, across the room, leaned against the wall.

The silence was sacrecent. Though I couldn't sleep, I had my eyes closed and head tilted towards the wall. The sounds of the night creatures outside was comforting. I heard only the occasional moving of my family downstairs. The whispers of their thoughts brushed my mind, but I turned it off wanting to focus on the sounds of owls and coyotes.

I heard the small patter of feet and I opened my eyes.

Rosalie stood the side of Bella's bed. I opened my mind to her thoughts.

_You look like Hell. You bled all over the place, too._ She was holding her breath. _The trouble you put this family through... All for this..._ She placed a fingertip (almost fondly) on Bella's cheek. _If you hurt him, I'll rip you apart and burn you myself._ Her smirk was not harsh.

Rose turned on her heel and walked towards the door gracefully. She suddenly stopped at the door way. She threw a look at Bella's form again and a last thought swept her mind.

With a smile, she thought _Bitch._

Then she was gone. I turned my mind off again.

When Bella's vocal cords set off again at 5 a.m (22 hours after initial bite), I was ready. I flung myself onto her and lay on top of her, careful not to crush her lungs or break any bones. Wrapping my arms around her delicate frame, I begged her pain to pass. I begged what ever God was up somewhere watching to make her change go fast. Not just for her benefit, but for mine as well.

I couldn't stand watching her anymore.

My dead heart was crushed.

_**Man, I had fun with that. I'll put in one more chapter, but that is it. Not really much more to tell from there. Ask me any questions and/or tell me your thoughts in a review. I'll appreciate it. Constructive criticism is always welcome.**_

_**Peace out.**_


	2. Birth

_**Ah, here we are again. Bella's and Edward's journey continue to finish what Edward promised.**_

_**This chapter will fit well with the song: The Thirst is Taking Over by the band Skillet.**_

"Kill me..."

"Not a chance, Bella. Not a chance in the world."

She replied with a huff of breath. Her gasps and staggering breaths echoed in the room. I buried my face in her collar and spread my arms out. Both of my hands met with Bella's own bound ones. The moment she sensed my hands near hers, she grasped them and laced our fingers together. She squeezed hard enough for her knuckles to go white and her tendons and ligaments to stand out of her skin. This did not hurt me.

It has been 36 hours since initial bite. It is now 8 p.m. We survived another world's dance in sunlight and darkness loomed over Denali again, over our souls. Bella once looked at nighttime as a beautiful thing, saying that without the dark we wouldn't see the stars. I wonder whether she sees them now. Only she would look at nighttime as something beautiful.

As I look upon my darling's face contorted in pain, I did still see beauty. The moonlight from the window created evil shadows upon her features, yet at the same time I still saw the Bella I love. Her skin paler than ever, the white lights smoothing over her skin to give her an ethereal appearance.

She looked like a vampire.

She was still Bella to me. And I could only hope I would still be the Edward she loves when she awakens.

I put my head back on her chest, listening to her frantic heart beat. Her human heart. So desperately trying to keep its host alive, pumping needed blood to her cells. Pity it didn't know that it was dooming itself and its host to death, pumping the venom that much faster. I still love you, even when you will be dead.

Bella's hands and feet were cold. I looked to the bed sheets and considered covering her but I knew that 1. she would kick it off 2. she wouldn't warm up at this point, and 3. the sheet wouldn't warm up anyway. The neutral temperature of her hands and feet kicked me in the face. She really WILL be a vampire... Her heart won't beat... and she will be dead. I could feel my body shake... my dear Bella...

"EDWARD."

Her screaming my name startled me. I looked at her face. Her tears trailed down her face, mingling with dried blood and getting it all in her hair. I lifted myself off her and she immediately squirmed violently, flinging herself up and down on the mattress.

I couldn't look at her anymore. I got off the bed and I sat back down on the spot across the room. I'm sorry, Bella, I'm sorry. But I just can't do it.

She inhaled deeply and sharply, and I cringed expecting something bad to come out. She let out one long echoing shriek, standing half up on her feet. With a crash hard enough to shake the bed, she collapsed unconscious.

Silence.

I smiled to myself. I heard Jasper's and Emmett laughter in the other room. Somewhere else in the house, I heard Esme and Alice sigh in relief.

_Fucking finally. Just keep your mouth shut! _ Sounds like Rose is also happy. Eight hours of never-ending screaming has driven us all crazy.

Esme's light steps up the stairs could barely be heard; my ears are still ringing.

"Edward, honey, you are going to need this." She dropped a large, blue, plastic bucket at the foot of Bella's bed. In her other hand, she was holding a plastic bowl of water. She lightly crossed the room to the nightstand and placed it there. The mattress sank a little as she sat next to my Bella. I watched her lean over and pull a little white rag out of the the bowl of water. She twisted the water out and began wiping Bella's forehead.

"I could do that, Esme..." My voice was a whisper. If I was human, I would be exhausted. Instead, I feel this weird floating feeling.

"No, dear. You've done enough. Let me do this, you just sit tight."

She was wiping her neck now. She patted the area in which I bit my dear Bella. _She will be okay._ Her thoughts about my vicious bite did little to help me get over how much regret I held for being so violent with the one I love.

She stood and left the room with the bowl of dirty water.

Silence again.

Esme came back three seconds later with a bowl of fresh water and continued her work of cleaning Bella up. She pulled Bella's shirt up and I turned my head away, shutting me eyes. I could hear my mother's light laughter in my head.

_You are married to her, Edward. Why do you turn away?_

"I haven't...seen her yet. It wouldn't be fair..." My eyes were still closed. "Just tell me when you pull her shirt back down..."

She laughed in my head again and then there was only the quiet noise of the rag running along Bella's skin. I heard a rustle of clothing. "Okay, you can look."

She was now running the cloth up and down Bella's legs. _I would love to change her cloths. She looks horrible._

"It wouldn't be worth it Esme. She will wake soon..." My voice trailed off, thinking about what will happen when she wakes; who she will be when she wakes.

_Can I do it anyway?_

I can never understand women.. "Yeah go for it."

She stood and left the room, calling Alice to help her. I stared at Bella's face as she slept. Even in her sleep, she grimaced.

Moments later Alice came in holding one of my black button-up shirts and a pair of my pajama pants. I bought them to be comfortable for both me and Bella when I spent the night holding her in her bed. Jeans under the covers are not that cozy.

Esme and Alice untied both of her arms and legs, and Alice took a pair of scissors from the pile of clothes and snipped away the ragged shirt.

"She won't be happy that I'm doing this to her shirt, but oh well. It's easier. Edward can get her a new one." Alice grinned at me. I closed my eyes and turned my head away as Bella's chest came out in the open.

"Hey, Esme, where is the extra controller to the Playsta- WOAH. What's this? Giving Edward a show?"

I could hear Emmett laugh and I opened one eye to find him still looking. "Emmett," I growled so hard it made my throat uncomfortable "Close your damn eyes or I close them for you." To make a point, I dug my hands into the wooden floor, hearing the wood crack.

I heard Alice and Esme giggle as they lifted Bella and put the clothes on. "The controller is in the Den, where you last left it. Oh and you can look now Edward."

Bella's pants were on and my sister was finishing buttoning up the shirt. The sleeves were too long so Esme had rolled them up. Just as Alice was at the last button, Bella awoke.

My Bella shot her arms out and grabbed Alice's skull and tugged side to side. Emmett, who hadn't left, gave a hoot of laughter and dashed to help. I shot to my feet and pressed down on Bella's sturnum. Emmett wrestle with Bella's arms and Alice struggled to get her to let go of her hair. To my surprise, Jasper was helping too, getting a hold of her legs. Esme was attempting to make Bella let go of Alice's poor head. Carlisle had come in and pulled at her arms

It took a good 60 seconds to restrain her enough to get her in the leather straps.

"Is it just me or is she getting stronger?" Alice's question hung in the air, and no one asnwered. For a moment we just stood and watched my dear Bella. They had stepped away from the bed, but I had stayed at Bella's side. She was silent in her struggle, letting out only huffs of air. I half smiled at this and leaned down, pressing my ear to her chest. Her heart still beat.

"What time is it?" I called out.

"Twelve." Carlisle answered.

"Alice? Alice?" I looked up at Jaspers questionings. Alice had her eyes rolled back and was swaying.

I delved into her head. _The sun just rose above the trees. Bella opened her eyes for the first time in nearly 48 hours. "Edward." was her first word._

I came back to the present and Alice looked at me and smiled.

"What did you see?" Jasper hugged her and rubbed his cheek against hers.

I answered for her. "She will wake up when the sun rises."

I turned and looked at Bella. "Not too long now..." Bella gripped the bed sheets in frustration and bucked her hips.

"Where is Rose?" I noticed the one person absent.

"She is downstairs watching tv..."

I turned to look at Jasper and found myself surprised. Everyone already left the room.

"Oh... How are you feeling, man?" I asked. How could Jasper handle the blood?

"It's alright. It was harder before... But now, I don't have the urge to eat a half vampire." I winced at his response and he frowned. "Edward, it's too late now..."

I sighed and leaned down, resting my head on Bella's collar bone, breathing in her scent. It was still as tempting as before, and I still had to control myself around her. "Jasper, how could she ever forgive me. She didn't know what she wanted. She'll hate it when she wakes up and feels the hunger. She-"

"Shut up."

I shut my mouth.

"She did know what she wanted. How much will it take to get through your thick skull. Bella only wants to be with you...God, She went through her parents' wrath to marry you. I could hear their yelling all the way to our house." He swiped at me playfully. I ducked my head and smiled at him."Believe me, it's so much better this way. Hell, I'll finally not have to endure all that sexual frustration you would bring into the house. I don't think Alice could take any more anyway." He winked at me. I lifted an eyebrow at him and turned back to Bella.

"Come downstairs and play some Playstation 3 with us."

"No. I don't want to leave her."

"Alright." He shrugged and left the room. I pressed my ear to her chest and closed my eyes.

_Bum-bm. Bum bm. Bum bm. Bum bm. Bum bm._

The steady rhythm put me in a trance, and I lost track of time. Even as she fell into a last sleep, her heart beat steady.

She woke with a gasp, a scream in the back of her throat. Her thashing was so rough, I had to sit up off her. I turned my head to the window and saw the pink horizon. My eyes widened and even as she threw her hips up off the bed, I did not move from my spot. Alice, Esme, Carlisle, Jasper and Emmett filed into the room and I pressed my head to her chest, wrapping my arms around her waist. Her chest vibrated with the rapid movement of air leaving her lungs and her screaming. Even above that, I could hear her heart.

_Bum bm. Bum bm..Bum bm..Bum bm..Bum bum_

Her heart slowed gradually. I was shaking, all my limbs twitching in my attempts to calm down.

_Bum bm...Bum bm...Bum bm...Bum bm...Bum...bm...Bum...bm_

"No..." I didn't realize I said it until Esme'a hand rested on my shoulder.

_Bum...bm...Bum...bm...Bum...bm...Bum...bm...Bum...bm..._

I waited.

And waited.

And waited.

Silence.

She inhaled deeply and exhaled slowly. And with a sound and strength almost startling, she wretched her hands against the leather bonds. They snapped easily. Same with the ankle straps. Silence again.

"Ed...Edward?"

Her voice sounded horrible. She tried to clear it. Without lifting my head, I reached over and handed her the glass of water. She drank and I still pressed hard to her chest, desperately searching for that one sound of life. All I heard was the water swishing down her esophagus.

She lerched up and I jumped up off her, stepping away.

A look of discomfort fluttered her features and I remembered why Esme brought the bucket. I reached down and handed her the bucket, to which she emptied out her stomach's last meal. The smell of bile permeated the room.

As she continued through the post-change process of heaving into a bucket, I studied her face. Teenage skin problems such as pimples and blemished were gone from her face. Her skin lighted a considerable amount. Blue smears of color were spread out under her eyes, similar to how my family does. But what stuck out the most is the deep cerise color of her eyes. It hurt seeing her like that, but at the same time I could see the beauty I loved while she was human. Those large plump lips held as much appeal as they did before. The shape of her eyes still made me drop into bliss. I suddenly felt a hunger, but quite for her blood. Though her neck still looked appetizing, it was more of a factor of wanting to touch her.(Jasper looked at me, lifted a brow, and winked. Damn him and his empathy.) Her small hands are more graceful and slender. Her normally chewed nails weren't stubby. Instead, they could be now called elegantly short. Her muscles seemed more toned but she was still tiny.

She looked up at me and I could only feel pity.

"That was bad..." was all she said, refering to the passed 46 hours. She put the bucket down, made a face at the contents and went silent. After a moment, I noticed she got very twitchy. Her eyes would dart to the floor, then to the ceiling, then to the windows. Every noise in the room made her twitch. The normal noise of a spider weaving a web, sticking the threads to the window, made her twitch. A bird screeching some attempt at a song made her slam her hands to her ears.

Alice smiled and touched her wrists, pulling her up off the bed. Bella continued to look at me as my sister took the rest of the leather straps off her wrists. When Alice bent down to take off the straps on her ankles, she lifted an arm to reach out to me. I took a step forward and grasped her hand. Before she could say anything. Esme wrapped her arm around Bella's shoulders.

"Come, let's give you a bath."

Bella looked at Esme and grinned. Her neon white teeth startled me. "Yeah, I smell bad." 

Emmett flicked her forehead and said "Like shit, actually."

"Emmett!"

"Sorry, Esme. But it's true." He smiled at Bella, who faked a mad look.

"Edward, dear, can you get Bella some new clothes from her bag?"

I nodded and left the room to the bedroom Bella and I shared. As I sifted through Bella's clothes, I purposely took my time. I chose some jeans and a black shirt that I loved her in. After grabbing her underclothes quickly in attempt not to violate her privacy, I walked back up to the room. The water was running in the bathroom and the guys in the room where taking apart the bed. Emmett was thinking unhappy thoughts about having to be the one to wash the sheets, but still did his part and walked past me with the sheets in his arms. I heard Esme and Alice talk to Bella, asking her how she was feeling and whether she wanted anything. I found it a bit strange how stoic her answers were. The temptation to search through Alice's or Esme's mind was heavy, but I resisted. I knocked on the door, opened it a crack, and stuck my hand in with the clothes.

"Thanks." Alice's hand took them away, and I closed the door.

As I picked up the mattress off the bed, I heard the shuffle of clothing as Bella put her clothes on.

The guys and I froze when we heard a growl. It sounded the equivalent of a large cat backed up into a corner. I heard a loud slam followed by a rocky shatter. Then, the sound of glass breaking.

_Edward!_

I burst through the door to find Esme's head out the broken window, and Alice pushing away from the shattered porcelain sink.

"Bella went crazy all of a sudden! I'm sorry, Edward, she just threw me off guard! She was fine one second, but when I tried to steer her towards the door, she shoved me and broke through the window!"

I barely heard the last bit, as I began my pursuit.

I touched the ground and started running, following the exquisite smell of flowers. She was fast. Really fast. But she was not used to the speed. She came into view as I caught up and watched her trip over a tree stump that she meant to jump over and she flew a few feet. When she landed, she skid face first in the forest floor. I came to a stop. When I almost reached her, she sprung out from under my hand.

"BELLA!" I called, but she did not stop. The branches of ever green trees hit my face, the needles scratching my shirt uncomfortably.

I heard a loud crack and Bella stopped running. Among the evergreens lay a brown bear three times Bella's side. Her hand was still on his snout, his skull swisted in a sharply awkward angle. His black eyes were lifeless. I watched in horror as she ripped fur and skin off his neck, kneeling on the ground. The blood soaked the dirt, turning it into a grotesque type of mud. The leaves in the area were a deep crimson. The smell of the blood was only a little appetizing, seeing as how I fed right before changing my Bella. The creature in front of me was still Bella, but was lost to a new hunger that she had little control over. As she drank loudly, I watched her clean clothes soak up the liquid. Her hematic hair was drenched.

I shut my eyes and looked away.

"Well...She's messy." Jasper watched next to me and I felt a liquid calming effect permeating my skin. I nodded in thanks but refused to look at my wife. This was the final step. Human Bella wasn't coming back. Her heart will never beat again. I felt Alice wrap her arms around my shoulders, standing on her tip-toes. Carlisle hand rested on my shoulder. If I was human, I would be crying.

"...My... God..." Bella's whisper made me snap my eyes back at her. She fell on her butt, trying to get away from the torn corpse. She tried to crab-walk away but only slipped in the bloody mud, her elbows slamming into the ground with a wet sound. She stopped breathing, struggling to push away from the body.

Silence. Even the forest didn't make a sound. No birds, no wind, no movement.

"Edward..." Bella's whisper reached my ears, but I made no movement towards her. I couldn't bring myself to move. My Bella had killed an animal, drank its blood, and was practically rolling in it (even though it was an attempt to get away). I felt the pull to go help her, but I couldn't. The vision of her was burned into my head. Esme rushed passed me, followed by Jasper. He pulled her out of the mud. The moment she reached dry ground, Esme kneeled next to her and hugged her. Despite the state Bella was in, Esme still hugged her and got her clothes mucked up. Bella turned to look at me, painful questioning in her eyes. Her face, neck, and front was drenched in blood. She looked away and hugged Esme back, shaking.

_Edward! What is your problem?!_

_What is the matter with you?_

_Why didn't you help her?_

My family was mad at me. I closed my eyes in shame and realized I made another mistake. I failed to act when Bella needed me.

Alice whapped my head and shoved me forward. I slowly stepped towards my mother and Bella. Esme was rocking her, rubbing circles in her back. When I kneeled down, Esme gave me a look of understanding and lightly pushed Bella away. She stood up.

_We'll all be at the house. _A rustle of noise, and they were gone.

Bella was sitting on her legs, her hands palm-down on the mossy ground and her head down. Her dripping hair created a wall between us. I reached over and touched her wrist. She slowly turned towards me, not looking at me. She wanted to wrap her arms around my waist, so I opened my arms to hug her. She looked up at me and I flinched at the sight of the blood and mud all over her.

Pain shattered her features and she backed away. Keeping her head down, she whispered. "You don't want me..."

I felt my chest constrict. "That's not true, Bella." Yet I couldn't stop myself from stiffening when she looked at me again.

She dropped her head. "See?..."

I scolded myself and opened my arms. She didn't move. So I stood up and bent down to pick her up. She still didn't move.

I slipped my arms under her arms and thighs and lifted her up, ignoring the smell of blood that she was sopping in. At first, she was stiff and made no move to voluntarily touch me. As I walked through the woods away from the bear and house, she eventualy slipped her arms around me. Her smell under the blood hit my nose.

Oh god, what have I done. This is still Bella.

I hugged her closer and continued to walk. I smelled and heard running water up ahead, and picked up speed to a vampire run. I stopped at the river bed. It hadn't rained so the waters were clear and only to my knees. With a look around my surroundings, I walked into the water. The current did not push me over. I slowly dipped down to my knees to the rocky bottom, and sat Bella down. If she was human, I would not allow her to touch such cold water. But things are different now.

The water grabbed at the blood and mud on her body, pulling away the recent sins. I cupped my hand and moved the water over her. She helped and we were both clean. The water down stream started to look unpleasent.

When I lifted her up again, I expected a shiver from the feel of the wind to her wet clothes. I smiled to myself at my old habit of shielding her body from the wind with my own.

The sun was starting to warm the earth. I set her down in the dry grass a couple meters away from the river. When I lay on my side, Bella pulled me close. She wrapped her arms around my neck and hid her face in my collar.

She inhaled, "You smell so good."

I smiled, "So do you."

"Still?"

"Yes, just as strongly if not more. But it's not that I want to bite you, " I tilted my head down and nuzzled her neck and recieved a giggle, "it's more like I want _you._ All of you."

She stiffened. I wonder if I said the wrong thing. Then she ducked her head away against my upper chest.

"Bella?"

"Yes?" There was a giggle in her voice. I grinned.

"Is my Bella embarrassed?"

I got a giggle in reply.

Bella lifted her head up and said "I love you."

"And I love you, but why won't you look at me?"

"You don't like it."

"Oh, Bella." I pulled her face away. Holding her cheeks I looked into her crimson eyes. "I _love_ you and nothing will every change it. You are beautiful; you always were."

I leaned in and kissed her mouth. Once again I felt the monster inside crave her, but this time a different hunger. She faltered a bit, not sure where our boundaries sat now. She pulled back and I didn't take the rejection too hard. She was as nervous as I was.

"Hey, Bella. Did you know you nearly ripped at my hair out? You did it to Alice too." I watched her face contort with mild horror.

"I'm sorry! Is that why you guys strapped me down?"

"Yeah."

"Oh no!" Her words were high-pitched and so girly that I hugged her to me with a smile. She inhaled my neck again and I felt a rumble of pleasure in her chest. I grinned wide. This was still the same Bella. Yet, her waist seemed slightly smaller and her muscles seemed harder. The grip she had on me was pleasantly rough. She was still grogeous.

I tilted my head down and kissed her shoulder. She brought her head up and offered me her neck, which I devoured with kisses. I kissed my way to her mouth. Once again, she hesitated to go too far. I don't think she realized that we have no boundaries. I pulled her body tight against mine and kissed her with more vigor. She got the hint and did what she always did when she lost control. She wrapped her arms around my head and crushed my lips against hers. After a moment, Bella softened and opened her mouth. I delicately opened my own and when she touched my tongue with hers, I felt a tremor down my back. I rolled her onto her back, feeling my muscles tense up in anticipation. She met my energy with her own. I released a groan when she dug her fingers in the back of my neck. I pulled back and kissed her neck. She loosened up and pressed herself hard against me. But even then, I could feel her shaking. I know its not from being cold.

"You'll be the death of me..." I whispered with a rasp. Bella replied with a smile and a hasty tug of my shirt. When it was in the grass next to us, she leaned up and kissed my neck. She made a trail, and when she reached the base of my neck I felt her teeth graze my skin. I inhaled deeply and let out the breath. I pressed my hand on her skin under her shirt. As my hand traveled upwards, she bite my neck a little and tangled her hand in my hair. When I reached a (lacy?) bra, I shuddered and kissed her hard again. I kissed a path of kisses down to her cleavage.

"We have waited way too long with this..." Her voice sounded more like a moan.

"With good reason, Bella."

"Shut up." With that said, she lifted her knees up and bent them on either side of my hips. When she felt the proof of my monster's hunger, she gave me an evil smile. She lifted and set her feet between my knees, locking me into place with her legs.

"I don't want to hurt you, Bella." My own hesitation killed me.

"Oh, that's too bad, because I have no hesitation hurting you." With a last thought of control, I watched her body language change to animalistic. She bite down on me hard enough for me to hiss between my teeth at the discomfort. When she bit harder than that, I pressed against her, feeling my last wall of restraint fall with a crash.

"Take me, Edward." Bella raked her nails hard up and down my back.

That's all it took for me to do it. And then we were lost.

We drove back to Forks two months later. Her control was uncharacteristically strong for that of a new born. Carlisle thinks that might be her power. Within the two months we were in Alaska, she could walk among humans without a second glance. That was amazing. The control didn't even strain her or make her nervous in any way. 

We had to buy Bella some new clothes, as it seems her old ones didn't fit right. She lost the last of her teenaged body, and now had a more womanly shape. With much agrument and a good tickle fight, we managed to get her to try on clothes that we would spend money on. Alice also dragged her into Victoria's Secret, which made her nervous and want to leave. Alice kept her there and had her in the dressing room all day. I wasn't allowed in the dressing room, but I got to enjoy the fruits of the trip to the store later that day.

Bella still felt strange not sleeping every night. So instead, we would lay down in pajamas on a bed for the whole night as a ritual. It sometimes led to other more vigorous activities... actually _most_ of the time, it led to other vigorous activities. Activities which I got a clap on the shoulder from Emmett and a goofy grin from Jasper.

Teaching Bella to run wasn't too difficult. After a few days of practice, she managed to go without tripping. Though, when our house gets too quiet to the point where we could hear the bugs crawling outside, Bella hides under me, covering her ears. We also had to replace the sink she smashed, along with a few other things in the house that would suddenly become crushed or twisted. I can't even count how _many_ door knobs were replaced. Contact lenses had to be bought; the red gleam in her eyes were too bright to be natural.

Rosalie warmed up to Bella. She was furious when she found out how much trouble Bella caused that first day she was awake (She was in town that day). And many times when Bella broke something, Rose was the first to yell at her. At first, Bella took it and ignored it. Yet after a while, she would do some screaming of her own at Rose. We broke up one catfight, after which they didn't associate with one another again. They had both silently agreed to a mutual existance and they stayed in their own spaces.

Back in Forks, Bella spent a few nights at her father's house. Now, I was allowed to stay over to his knowledge. I think he only noticed a little change in Bella, enough to compliment her. His secret thoughts were that she was pregnant.

Sorry, Charlie.

We lay in Bella's bed, silently holding one another. I looked around the room as Bella had another inhaling session of my scent. This is where we spent some of the most important times together with her still human. I grew silent in the memories. I would miss her humanity, probably more than she would.

"Edward?" I looked down and saw her staring at me with worry. I smiled. I had grew to love her new vampirism, even with the shadow of her lost humanity fresh in my mind. I kissed her forehead and tightened my arms around her.

"I will love you forever, Bella."

"You promise?"

"Yes. I always do what I promise, don't I?"

_**Ah, I'm done. It was longer than I expected an almost wanted to split this into two small chapters. But I realized that everyone loves long chapters and left it. :)**_

_**Well that's all for **__**I Promised**__**. At the moment I don't plan to continue, since there isn't much more I can write. I would appreciate reviews; questions, comments, and concerns will be answered. If there were any that you wanted me to answer, I could make a chapter to answer the bunch. I love you guys!**_

_**Sincerely,**_

_**L. Wendel**_


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